Daily rambles about quilting, gardening, reading, cooking and just plain old being.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Long Run: Agony. Long Movie: Bliss

Yesterday I worked on a quilt that is intended as a gift...I'll post pics later. Then my Mom taught me to decode the instructions on a crochet pattern. I mean seriously, it was like a foreign language. Then she sat beside me and told me what to do next until I was sure of what I was doing and had basically memorized the instructions. I only know how to double crochet and I taught myself that using a book with really good pictures. I needed help with instructions, but the poncho is all double crochet so, I was confident that I could do it once I figured out what they were telling me to do. Once I understood it seemed so easy!

Today, I ran 8 miles that was supposed to be 9...between my weary body, aching knees and hips, and the blasted wind (gusting to 40 mph sometimes) I felt like I was being beaten. I came in, showered, and settled on the couch with my crocheting. I put in Gone with the Wind and crocheted the whole time it was on and I'm still not even half-way! Poo!

I had promised myself a "day off" and I don't really think running should have been part of that because I am weary now, but in the past running has always brought me joy and energy...I was in agony and spent a good portion of today's run trying to convince myself that I could give up running (after the Cowtown Half-marathon, which I am obligated to do because I am coaching someone). I tried to convince myself that I could run shorter distances or just walk, but I remember the joy, the "runner's high", so to speak,...that feeling of being invincible because I could run so effortlessly for so far and so long. Some little piece of me is heartbroken at the thought of giving it up, but I had to give myself permission to do so just to keep going today. I have to continue running for the next two months, the Cowtown is February 28th, and I have to increase my mileage to 13 miles, but after that I need to seriously consider letting it go...I hurt too much during and I ache to badly after.

Tomorrow, I reserved space in an early morning yoga class. I'm excited about being the student instead of the teacher for a change. I've had to cancel my classes for the last two weeks because of work schedules (even my silly part-time job is interfering with my real life) and thus, I haven't had the discipline to practice myself. I've been suffering from a serious, ongoing fatigue that I can't shake and I find it hard to do much of anything that doesn't HAVE to be done...on that note...I'm fading fast and though it is only 7:37pm I think I'll head to bed to read a bit.

Namaste'

2 comments:

Mon said...

How nice to have someone help you decode patterns and sit beside you.

I remember crocheting as very calming.

I feel achey just hearing of your 8mile run! I agree that running shoudn't be part of a Day Off, lol.

Gone with the Wind is sublime.

ragamuffin yogini said...

I'm following your knitting journey on Holistic Mama...that is next on my list of things to learn. I suspect that knitting and crocheting are very close sisters...I do find the repetition calming and soothing.