Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time....I felt good physically and mentally and better yet, I finally came to some decisions that I had been struggling with (well, the Universe told me what to do).
I woke up after a basically sleepless night KNOWING that I was not going to continue running. I've been training and coaching a first time runner. She called last week with a foot problem and her doctor said she couldn't run for three weeks and I was soooo relieved because my body needed a break. I told myself I would just take a week off and then continue the training. I took my break last week and I felt ever so slightly better than I had been feeling for the last few months.
I guess I should explain that running has always brought me joy and generated energy, but this time around it was just draining me...I struggled, I ached, I was weary when it was over. My body has been asking me to stop for awhile and I told myself that after my one week break I would start it back up and finish the training, but I woke up this morning and knew I wasn't going to run anymore. That is how the day started....
Then I did a load of laundry and as I hung it out in the bright sun I heard the woodpecker, the squirrel, and a hawk's call high overhead and again, I KNEW it was going to be a better day. I got dressed and ready to go and sat down with a hand-quilting project I've been working on for weeks and weeks. I didn't feel the urge to get up, buzz around, manically cleaning ADHD style, moving fast and accomplishing nothing. I sat still and contentedly stitched until my mom appeared and I hitched a ride to town.
Yesterday, I had received a call about a part-time job at the local quilt shop and I popped in today to talk with the owner about it. I was ready to fight for my every other Saturday and every Sunday off (which is what I get with my other part-time job), but everything fell into place...she doesn't need anyone on the weekends, just some partial days during the week...very flexible. When she asked if I could work on Monday afternoon, I immediatley said "Yes" and again the universe spoke...
I've been struggling with whether or not I was going to keep teaching yoga or not. I've been teaching in my home on Monday evenings and it has been a bit of a pain...always cleaning the house, moving the furniture, rushing home after work to mop, locking the cats in the bathroom, locking the dogs in the fence, and getting more and more frustrated because folks would just not show up or would show up unexpectedly and though it wasn't about money I wasn't making any so, it seems like it wasn't worth all the production involved in doing it. PLUS, with all the anxiety and frustration I wasn't enjoying the yoga itself anymore and I don't want to lose that....So, the Universe spoke again when I instantly answered that I could work on Mondays...no more yoga and another weight lifted from my shoulders.
We proceeded to a big-box home improvement store and I bought most of our seeds for the upcoming garden...that makes me crazy giddy. I LOVE TO GARDEN! Dirt, snails, worms, bugs, compost....WOOOO HOOOOO! Once home I ordered our seed potatoes and onion sets...We like WoodPraire Farm for our potatoes and Dixondale Farms for onions. It will be time to plant before we know it and I can't wait!
I walked the dogs, folded some laundry, altered a skirt, made my dinner, did my dishes, and though I am tired I don't feel beat-down, like I have no spirit or no hope...I feel amazingly free having let go of two things that have been weighing me down...now I can run and practice yoga on my own terms again. I can work my little jobs and enjoy them without any other commitments making me dread Mondays or Sundays.
The only way this day could have been better is if my hubby had been home to share it.