How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer
Showing posts with label work woes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work woes. Show all posts
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sorry, I need to vent.
Hhmm, what to say about today? It was freezing rain and ice was accumulating on the trees and it was so very cold that all I wanted to do was curl up and read, or crochet, or watch a movie, but I had to go to work. Mondays begin with a meeting and during each meeting the verb "come" is mis-used by the same person...it happens every Monday morning. Since I taught English for 13 years and pride myself on above average grammar it is all I can do not to correct this usage. Every week, somehow it is used..."it had not came yet" or "she had not came in" or something similar and really, it is all I can do not to jump up and scream; COME, NOT CAME. Seriously, it is driving me crazy!!!! Considering the day was flavored for me by the crap weather I'm really surprised that I made it through another meeting without flipping my lid.
I did sort of flip out, just a little and CK was so cool to listen. I hate Mondays because I don't get a lunch, yet work from 9am until 2pm. I'm old school, lunch is at noon, meals are roughly four hours apart, it is just the way it is and if you think about it, you feel better when you eat regularly, so there! I also bitched about tomorrow's schedule; noon to 9pm. Ridiculous...civilized folks are home safe in their pjs by 9pm. Again, I'm old school about this...I'm in bed by 9 most nights AS I SHOULD BE! I shouldn't be at work....
With that said, it was "one of those" days for me. Nothing happened, my brain is just wired to bitch and moan when the weather is unpleasant....for me, unpleasant means that the sun isn't shining. I'm addicted to the sun...really. I came home to find that the one yoga student who is still actually reserving her space and respectfully canceling had indeed canceled. So, I figure "Screw it", I don't even know if anyone else was planning on coming because they don't let me know...so, I just canceled it...sent out emails and then fumed about it awhile. Yeah, yeah, not very yogini-like of me, I know, but it is pissing me off that no one confirms or cancels anymore and I never know who, if anyone is going to show up. I'm trying not to make a rash decision about this and just give up teaching yoga completely, but that is what I feel like doing right now, today. POO!
So, it is 7:26 and I am venting this all out and having a lovely cup of chai which is likely to keep me awake and I really don't care...the chores are done; mail opened, dishes washed, cat-box scooped, trash dragged to the curb. When I finish this post I'm going to boot the cat out of MY chair, wrap up in my fleece blanket, start Titanic, and crochet until I just can't anymore. I don't have to be at work until noon tomorrow and so, I'm going to stay up late which is very unlike me, but days like today make me want to rebel a little, shake it up, show it who's boss.
I did sort of flip out, just a little and CK was so cool to listen. I hate Mondays because I don't get a lunch, yet work from 9am until 2pm. I'm old school, lunch is at noon, meals are roughly four hours apart, it is just the way it is and if you think about it, you feel better when you eat regularly, so there! I also bitched about tomorrow's schedule; noon to 9pm. Ridiculous...civilized folks are home safe in their pjs by 9pm. Again, I'm old school about this...I'm in bed by 9 most nights AS I SHOULD BE! I shouldn't be at work....
With that said, it was "one of those" days for me. Nothing happened, my brain is just wired to bitch and moan when the weather is unpleasant....for me, unpleasant means that the sun isn't shining. I'm addicted to the sun...really. I came home to find that the one yoga student who is still actually reserving her space and respectfully canceling had indeed canceled. So, I figure "Screw it", I don't even know if anyone else was planning on coming because they don't let me know...so, I just canceled it...sent out emails and then fumed about it awhile. Yeah, yeah, not very yogini-like of me, I know, but it is pissing me off that no one confirms or cancels anymore and I never know who, if anyone is going to show up. I'm trying not to make a rash decision about this and just give up teaching yoga completely, but that is what I feel like doing right now, today. POO!
So, it is 7:26 and I am venting this all out and having a lovely cup of chai which is likely to keep me awake and I really don't care...the chores are done; mail opened, dishes washed, cat-box scooped, trash dragged to the curb. When I finish this post I'm going to boot the cat out of MY chair, wrap up in my fleece blanket, start Titanic, and crochet until I just can't anymore. I don't have to be at work until noon tomorrow and so, I'm going to stay up late which is very unlike me, but days like today make me want to rebel a little, shake it up, show it who's boss.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Woes of a Working Stiff
Whew, I don't want to complain, but well, I'm going to anyway....I got so spoiled during those six months that I didn't work. I've worked 8 hour shifts the last two days, which with lunches turns into over 9 hours away from home and I JUST DON'T LIKE IT! POO!
Don't get me wrong, I like the job and the folks and such, but I just don't want to work ALL DAY! I can't manage to get anything done at home...I'm not one of those Super Women who can get up early and do 5 loads of laundry before work and then come home, do all the chores, and stay up half the night doing the "fun" stuff. I need to sleep!
I have a gazillion things I want to do: watch movies, read, crochet, knit, scrapbook, sew, quilt, clean closets, alter some skirts....Hell, even taking the compost out sounds AWESOME after being away from home all day. I can't even do some of my chores because it is dark when I get home....that leaves Sunday to jam it all in...my one day off this week (oh wait, I was off on New Year's Day, but still....boo hoo).
I've already called everyone who might wake me early to inform them that I was sleeping late tomorrow, which would normally allow me to stay up later, BUT I'm about to pass out from standing on my poor aching feet and legs all day...On that note, I think I'll give myself a few minutes of "Legs Up the Wall" and retire for the night....9pm...Good Grief?!
Don't get me wrong, I like the job and the folks and such, but I just don't want to work ALL DAY! I can't manage to get anything done at home...I'm not one of those Super Women who can get up early and do 5 loads of laundry before work and then come home, do all the chores, and stay up half the night doing the "fun" stuff. I need to sleep!
I have a gazillion things I want to do: watch movies, read, crochet, knit, scrapbook, sew, quilt, clean closets, alter some skirts....Hell, even taking the compost out sounds AWESOME after being away from home all day. I can't even do some of my chores because it is dark when I get home....that leaves Sunday to jam it all in...my one day off this week (oh wait, I was off on New Year's Day, but still....boo hoo).
I've already called everyone who might wake me early to inform them that I was sleeping late tomorrow, which would normally allow me to stay up later, BUT I'm about to pass out from standing on my poor aching feet and legs all day...On that note, I think I'll give myself a few minutes of "Legs Up the Wall" and retire for the night....9pm...Good Grief?!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I Wish I had Written This...
The Speech the Graduates Didn’t Hear
Jacob Neusner
We the faculty take no pride in our educational achievements with you. We have prepared you for a world that does not exist, indeed, that cannot exist. You have spent four years supposing that failure leaves no record. You have learned at Brown that when your work goes poorly, the painless solution is to drop out. But starting now, in the world to which you go, failure marks you. Confronting difficulty by quitting leaves you changed. Outside Brown, quitters are no heroes.
With us you could argue about why your errors were not errors, why mediocre work really was excellent, why you could take pride in routine and slipshod presentation. Most of you, after all, can look back on honor grades for most of what you have done. So, here grades can have meant little in distinguishing the excellent from the ordinary. But tomorrow, in the world to which you go, you had best not defend errors but learn from them. You will be ill-advised to demand praise for what does not deserve it, and abuse those who do not give it.
For four years we created an altogether forgiving world, in which, whatever slight effort you gave was all that was demanded. When you did not keep appointments, we made new ones. When your work came in beyond the deadline, we pretended not to care.
Worse still, when you were boring, we acted as if you were saying something important. When you were garrulous and talked to hear yourself talk, we listened as if it mattered. When you tossed on our desks writing upon which you had not labored, we read it and even responded, as though you earned a response. When you were dull, we pretended you were smart. When you were predictable, unimaginative, and routine, we listened as if to new and wonderful things. When you demanded free lunch, we served it. And all this why?
Despite your fantasies, it was not even that we wanted to be liked by you. It was that we did not want to be bothered, and the easy way out was pretense: smiles and easy Bs.
It is conventional to quote in addresses such as these. Let me quote someone you’ve never heard of: Professor Carter A. Daniel, Rutgers University (Chronicle of Higher Education, May 7, 1979):
College has spoiled you by reading papers that don’t deserve to be read,
Listening to comments that don’t deserve hearing, paying attention even to
the lazy, ill-formed, and rude. We had to do it, for the sake of education.
But nobody will ever do it again. College has deprived you of adequate
preparation for the last fifty years. It has failed you by being easy, free,
forgiving, attentive, comfortable, interesting, unchallenging fun. Good
luck tomorrow.
That is why, on this commencement day, we have nothing in which to take much pride.
Oh, yes, there is one more thing. Try not to act toward your coworkers and bosses as you have acted toward us. I mean, when they give you what you want but have not earned, don’t abuse them, insult them, act out with them your parlous relationships with your parents. This too we have tolerated. It was, as I said, not to be liked. Few professors actually care whether or not they are liked by peer-paralyzed adolescents, fools so shallow as to imagine professors care not about education but about popularity. It was, again, to be rid of you. So go, unlearn the lies we taught you. To life!
Rottenberg, Annette T. Elements of Argument: A Text and Reader. 5th ed. Boston: Bedford Books (St.
Martin’s), 1997.
Jacob Neusner
We the faculty take no pride in our educational achievements with you. We have prepared you for a world that does not exist, indeed, that cannot exist. You have spent four years supposing that failure leaves no record. You have learned at Brown that when your work goes poorly, the painless solution is to drop out. But starting now, in the world to which you go, failure marks you. Confronting difficulty by quitting leaves you changed. Outside Brown, quitters are no heroes.
With us you could argue about why your errors were not errors, why mediocre work really was excellent, why you could take pride in routine and slipshod presentation. Most of you, after all, can look back on honor grades for most of what you have done. So, here grades can have meant little in distinguishing the excellent from the ordinary. But tomorrow, in the world to which you go, you had best not defend errors but learn from them. You will be ill-advised to demand praise for what does not deserve it, and abuse those who do not give it.
For four years we created an altogether forgiving world, in which, whatever slight effort you gave was all that was demanded. When you did not keep appointments, we made new ones. When your work came in beyond the deadline, we pretended not to care.
Worse still, when you were boring, we acted as if you were saying something important. When you were garrulous and talked to hear yourself talk, we listened as if it mattered. When you tossed on our desks writing upon which you had not labored, we read it and even responded, as though you earned a response. When you were dull, we pretended you were smart. When you were predictable, unimaginative, and routine, we listened as if to new and wonderful things. When you demanded free lunch, we served it. And all this why?
Despite your fantasies, it was not even that we wanted to be liked by you. It was that we did not want to be bothered, and the easy way out was pretense: smiles and easy Bs.
It is conventional to quote in addresses such as these. Let me quote someone you’ve never heard of: Professor Carter A. Daniel, Rutgers University (Chronicle of Higher Education, May 7, 1979):
College has spoiled you by reading papers that don’t deserve to be read,
Listening to comments that don’t deserve hearing, paying attention even to
the lazy, ill-formed, and rude. We had to do it, for the sake of education.
But nobody will ever do it again. College has deprived you of adequate
preparation for the last fifty years. It has failed you by being easy, free,
forgiving, attentive, comfortable, interesting, unchallenging fun. Good
luck tomorrow.
That is why, on this commencement day, we have nothing in which to take much pride.
Oh, yes, there is one more thing. Try not to act toward your coworkers and bosses as you have acted toward us. I mean, when they give you what you want but have not earned, don’t abuse them, insult them, act out with them your parlous relationships with your parents. This too we have tolerated. It was, as I said, not to be liked. Few professors actually care whether or not they are liked by peer-paralyzed adolescents, fools so shallow as to imagine professors care not about education but about popularity. It was, again, to be rid of you. So go, unlearn the lies we taught you. To life!
Rottenberg, Annette T. Elements of Argument: A Text and Reader. 5th ed. Boston: Bedford Books (St.
Martin’s), 1997.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Fifty-Eight More Days
What a beautiful weekend. Saturday was glorious, though not officially spring, for March 1st it felt like SPRING! I spent most of the day puttering in the garden. I saw a red-headed woodpecker and three road runners, who make the weirdest noise, by the way. I watered the potatoes, onions, and strawberries. I also planted some flower seeds in hopes of saving myself some serious cash, because I'm a sucker for all those lush, blooming plants. I planted zinnias, marigolds, foxglove, purple coneflower (echinacea) and something else that I can't remember and am too lazy to get up and look at the packet. I have high hopes for these little seeds. A few weeks back we planted tomatoes, bell peppers, jalapenos, and basil and those are all sprouted now. The coldframes we built back in the fall are doing the trick. We have lettuce and some seriously overgrown radishes in one (I'm letting the ginormous radish grow just to see how big it will get). The other coldframe has the seedlings, the flower seeds, and itsy-baby oak trees that we sprouted from acorns that we picked up at my Mom's. I guess I'm a pretty big garden-nerd because I get so excited when I see another new oak popping up. I started off calling it The Acorn Experiment and I don't think I really expected those acorns to sprout, much less to make little viable miniature oaks. I get seriously excited, like jump up and down and squeal and pee your pants excited.Today I did some packing, getting the kitchen ready for its eminent remodel. The plan is to start it in a couple of weeks when I have Spring Break. We already bought a new stove and micro-hood thingy and they are just sitting in their boxes in the kitchen waiting to be installed. The big hold-up is that we have to tear out a cabinet and re-configure them to put in the new stove. It looks like it might be a pretty big job, though we are well-practiced at tackling huge jobs around this money-pit.
Tomorrow is a workday and it is such a relief to know that I am going to work, but there won't be any kids there! YAHOO! Teaching school would be fabulous if it weren't for the kids, parents, and administrators. I'm actually looking forward to going to work...crazy!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Resolution #6:Think about running.
Yeah, yeah...I've been thinking about it, but last week I actually starting DOING it...gasp!!
Here's the story. Usually at work I just get so frustrated, bored, and completely heartbroken with the apathetic students, retard parents, and the general sorry state of public education that I want to stab out my own eyes with a sharp object. I have even developed a fondness for the loathsome pencil lately and I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that I can sharpen them to pointy-perfection with the new sharpener I requested just a few months ago. Come to think of it, I requested that new sharpener about the time I started feeling the need to keep sharp sticks around for the day when I had just had enough! Most days it was all I could do to restrain myself...come on, an ambulance ride, an eye-patch, some much needed time off....I've got disability insurance....(Does it cover MENTAL disability??)
Well, anyway, that is how it generally goes, then last week I found that I didn't even have the energy to pick up the pencil, much less make a jabbing motion in the direction of my eyeball. I had gone just beyond that place where I still cared. Last week I found myself not caring about anything. I SIMPLY DID NOT CARE. I knew I had to take some kind of action or risk losing several months to debilitating depression. So, I made myself run....one sad, pathetic, little mile....huffing and puffing (and I used to run marathons...pooof!) and I felt better. I've either run my little stupid mile or walked the dogs every day except one and I do feel much better. Today was even actually a tolerable, yet boring day at work thanks to my "running as anti-depressant" regime.
Just 62 more days.
Here's the story. Usually at work I just get so frustrated, bored, and completely heartbroken with the apathetic students, retard parents, and the general sorry state of public education that I want to stab out my own eyes with a sharp object. I have even developed a fondness for the loathsome pencil lately and I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that I can sharpen them to pointy-perfection with the new sharpener I requested just a few months ago. Come to think of it, I requested that new sharpener about the time I started feeling the need to keep sharp sticks around for the day when I had just had enough! Most days it was all I could do to restrain myself...come on, an ambulance ride, an eye-patch, some much needed time off....I've got disability insurance....(Does it cover MENTAL disability??)
Well, anyway, that is how it generally goes, then last week I found that I didn't even have the energy to pick up the pencil, much less make a jabbing motion in the direction of my eyeball. I had gone just beyond that place where I still cared. Last week I found myself not caring about anything. I SIMPLY DID NOT CARE. I knew I had to take some kind of action or risk losing several months to debilitating depression. So, I made myself run....one sad, pathetic, little mile....huffing and puffing (and I used to run marathons...pooof!) and I felt better. I've either run my little stupid mile or walked the dogs every day except one and I do feel much better. Today was even actually a tolerable, yet boring day at work thanks to my "running as anti-depressant" regime.
Just 62 more days.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Forgive me internet for I have sinned, It has been 14 days since my last blog-post
Lots of ups and downs in the last two weeks. My depression has really ramped up...weather+job=blueness unparalled. I have had some good days...I planted our onions, potatoes, and strawberries on Valentine's day. That was a beautiful day and then I promptly got sick with a cold for the weekend. I've suspended my yoga classes that I've taught for the last few months, because I feel like I need to spend some time healing myself. I've been running and walking the days daily and practicing yoga just for me, I need to go inward more. Especially since I have officially resigned from my job and will be officially unemployed in a few months. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I'll figure it out soon.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Garden Therapy
Well, I've been doodling and drawing more and more, yet I just can't seem to write everyday. I think about things I want to write about but either the time to do it never presents itself or I forget what I wanted to write about in the first place (or both).
Today I bought some strawberry plants and then spent the day turning the old strawberry patch and expanding it. My whole body is tired, but it was worth it and just what I needed. I was a human tiller today--hard work, but I'm okay with that kind of manual labor because it gives your mind the freedom to wander as your body does the work. We have a tiller, but I have issues with using it. Firstly, I don't actually know how to start it! Secondly, it is toooooo loud. Thirdly, I think it wants to eat my feet. Even though the tines are in the front it just seems a little too hungry for me and it scares the crap out of me.
My husband thinks I am crazy for doing things so "old school" and slow. I think he is crazy for not slowing down and enjoying the journey, even when the journey is long and arduous. Of course, the tiller would have only done half the job, so my way was the "right" way to do it today. It would have turned it all, but it wasn't going to pull all the weeds and grass roots out. So, the human tiller reigns supreme again---slow, quiet, and safe for feet!
I was working in the garden because when I saw the forecast for 70 degrees in February I immediately said, "I'm staying outside all day even if I have to invent reasons to stay out there". Seriously, seventy degrees in February! Are you hearing me, 70 in FEBRUARY! Thanks you Global Warming! The strawberry patch just provided me with a purpose, because I was going to spend the day in the sunshing no matter what.
Digging gives you all kinds of time to think and even after I had blisters and my back was aching I kept thinking, "This is hard, but I'd rather do this than try to teach English for 78 more days (70 after you subtract my 8 sick days).
Even when I tired of digging and commenced scooping up a month's worth of dog-doo from the yard I couldn't help but think "I could even do this, I would rather do this for 70 more days---and shit doesn't talk back!" I am trying to stay positive about finishing the year, but Friday was brutal...the kind of day that makes you want to deliver your keys to the office and walk away and never look back. I needed a day of hard labor, sunshine, birdsong, and time in my own head to erase it.
All gone, and enough from me for now.
Today I bought some strawberry plants and then spent the day turning the old strawberry patch and expanding it. My whole body is tired, but it was worth it and just what I needed. I was a human tiller today--hard work, but I'm okay with that kind of manual labor because it gives your mind the freedom to wander as your body does the work. We have a tiller, but I have issues with using it. Firstly, I don't actually know how to start it! Secondly, it is toooooo loud. Thirdly, I think it wants to eat my feet. Even though the tines are in the front it just seems a little too hungry for me and it scares the crap out of me.
My husband thinks I am crazy for doing things so "old school" and slow. I think he is crazy for not slowing down and enjoying the journey, even when the journey is long and arduous. Of course, the tiller would have only done half the job, so my way was the "right" way to do it today. It would have turned it all, but it wasn't going to pull all the weeds and grass roots out. So, the human tiller reigns supreme again---slow, quiet, and safe for feet!
I was working in the garden because when I saw the forecast for 70 degrees in February I immediately said, "I'm staying outside all day even if I have to invent reasons to stay out there". Seriously, seventy degrees in February! Are you hearing me, 70 in FEBRUARY! Thanks you Global Warming! The strawberry patch just provided me with a purpose, because I was going to spend the day in the sunshing no matter what.
Digging gives you all kinds of time to think and even after I had blisters and my back was aching I kept thinking, "This is hard, but I'd rather do this than try to teach English for 78 more days (70 after you subtract my 8 sick days).
Even when I tired of digging and commenced scooping up a month's worth of dog-doo from the yard I couldn't help but think "I could even do this, I would rather do this for 70 more days---and shit doesn't talk back!" I am trying to stay positive about finishing the year, but Friday was brutal...the kind of day that makes you want to deliver your keys to the office and walk away and never look back. I needed a day of hard labor, sunshine, birdsong, and time in my own head to erase it.
All gone, and enough from me for now.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Kindness Campaign: Love Notes
I dropped a few Love Notes around the school today. I can't think of any place I need to be reminded to "Smile" more than the phone we use to make parent phone calls. I hope it worked for someone!Sunday, January 20, 2008
Hell Week at Work
This has been Hell-week. I took to calling my students (10th grade English in a public school) The Dementors ala' Harry Potter months ago. The Demenotors really ramped it up this week....sucking all the joy from the space, sucking all the life from me, sucking it all away, until there was NOTHING left.
PMS+ The Dementors = one ugly scene, and this week was nothing but UGLY.
I already have issues with depression. The blueness creeps in frequently enough without any extra stressors, but this (school) year has been nothing but stress. When we started back in August I tried the "mind over matter" game. I tried to convince myself I was refreshed and renewed, but I knew before the first student crossed the threshold that I was done, so done.
I struggled through six weeks or so, crying almost every day, threatened to quit at Christmas, waffled back and forth (driving my husband crazy), agonized daily, and finally decided to finish the year. Finishing the year makes the most financial sense for us. Finishing the year is the right thing to do for my co-workers. Finishing the year is the right thing to do for the few decent humans who sit in my classroom each day. BUT finishing the year is really not the right thing for me.
Finishing the year means five more months of misery, of weeks like this week. I didn't even go to work on Monday, so it was only four days, but it felt like eight. I wore yoga clothes one day and the same pair of jeans the other three. One day my hair looked like it had been styled by Black and Decker, a combo leaf blower/vacuum maybe? When I caught sight of myself in the mirror that day all I thought was "Oh well, nothing I can do about it now." Resigned to looking like crap, I really didn't care. I'm only about one step away from wearing my pajamas to work. We will see how long it takes for that to happen.
I don't care about anything, not how late I am, not my clothes, not my hair, not the quality of the work I'm doing--I really just want to sleep which is the one thing that is evading me. Lying awake gives me plenty of time to agonize over the shit-job I'm doing and worry over what I'm going to do when I quit. I never wanted to be a person who was only going through the motions for the paycheck, but that is what I'm doing and sadly, I'm barely doing that.
I gave up on The Dementors months ago and since deeming them irredeemable I've let them run me over...I just don't have the energy to fight them. Again, not the person I want to be, but my heart is broken. Never have I been treated with such disrespect. Actually you can't really call it disrespect, I simply do not exist, I am less than human, I matter not.
I've promised myself that when the new semester begins on Tuesday I will turn over a new leaf and I hope I can do it...I'm not sure I can take 88 more days of the Blues.
PMS+ The Dementors = one ugly scene, and this week was nothing but UGLY.
I already have issues with depression. The blueness creeps in frequently enough without any extra stressors, but this (school) year has been nothing but stress. When we started back in August I tried the "mind over matter" game. I tried to convince myself I was refreshed and renewed, but I knew before the first student crossed the threshold that I was done, so done.
I struggled through six weeks or so, crying almost every day, threatened to quit at Christmas, waffled back and forth (driving my husband crazy), agonized daily, and finally decided to finish the year. Finishing the year makes the most financial sense for us. Finishing the year is the right thing to do for my co-workers. Finishing the year is the right thing to do for the few decent humans who sit in my classroom each day. BUT finishing the year is really not the right thing for me.
Finishing the year means five more months of misery, of weeks like this week. I didn't even go to work on Monday, so it was only four days, but it felt like eight. I wore yoga clothes one day and the same pair of jeans the other three. One day my hair looked like it had been styled by Black and Decker, a combo leaf blower/vacuum maybe? When I caught sight of myself in the mirror that day all I thought was "Oh well, nothing I can do about it now." Resigned to looking like crap, I really didn't care. I'm only about one step away from wearing my pajamas to work. We will see how long it takes for that to happen.
I don't care about anything, not how late I am, not my clothes, not my hair, not the quality of the work I'm doing--I really just want to sleep which is the one thing that is evading me. Lying awake gives me plenty of time to agonize over the shit-job I'm doing and worry over what I'm going to do when I quit. I never wanted to be a person who was only going through the motions for the paycheck, but that is what I'm doing and sadly, I'm barely doing that.
I gave up on The Dementors months ago and since deeming them irredeemable I've let them run me over...I just don't have the energy to fight them. Again, not the person I want to be, but my heart is broken. Never have I been treated with such disrespect. Actually you can't really call it disrespect, I simply do not exist, I am less than human, I matter not.
I've promised myself that when the new semester begins on Tuesday I will turn over a new leaf and I hope I can do it...I'm not sure I can take 88 more days of the Blues.
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