I've been having some issues just letting go and going with the flow...though that is what I want to do in my heart, I'm just a little too controlling to really let it happen. I'm especially having trouble with my schedule at work, but it bleeds into my whole world; the errands, the chores, the duties and obligations....I feel pulled in too many directions because I can't just let some things go....
I found the following typed and saved as a Word document, so clearly at some point I thought it applicable to my life. I had forgotten about it and as usual, just when I needed to be reminded that I cannot control everything, there it was to remind me.
From Yoga Journal:
Every morning repeat a gatha (mindfulness verse):
"Great is the matter of birth and death; impermanence surrounds us. Be awake each moment; do not waste your life."
The article went on to say: "Life doesn't give you breathing room, but if you stop grasping for control of the uncontrollable, you can learn to breathe through it all."
Showing posts with label yoga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yoga. Show all posts
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Friday, December 26, 2008
Long Run: Agony. Long Movie: Bliss
Yesterday I worked on a quilt that is intended as a gift...I'll post pics later. Then my Mom taught me to decode the instructions on a crochet pattern. I mean seriously, it was like a foreign language. Then she sat beside me and told me what to do next until I was sure of what I was doing and had basically memorized the instructions. I only know how to double crochet and I taught myself that using a book with really good pictures. I needed help with instructions, but the poncho is all double crochet so, I was confident that I could do it once I figured out what they were telling me to do. Once I understood it seemed so easy!
Today, I ran 8 miles that was supposed to be 9...between my weary body, aching knees and hips, and the blasted wind (gusting to 40 mph sometimes) I felt like I was being beaten. I came in, showered, and settled on the couch with my crocheting. I put in Gone with the Wind and crocheted the whole time it was on and I'm still not even half-way! Poo!
I had promised myself a "day off" and I don't really think running should have been part of that because I am weary now, but in the past running has always brought me joy and energy...I was in agony and spent a good portion of today's run trying to convince myself that I could give up running (after the Cowtown Half-marathon, which I am obligated to do because I am coaching someone). I tried to convince myself that I could run shorter distances or just walk, but I remember the joy, the "runner's high", so to speak,...that feeling of being invincible because I could run so effortlessly for so far and so long. Some little piece of me is heartbroken at the thought of giving it up, but I had to give myself permission to do so just to keep going today. I have to continue running for the next two months, the Cowtown is February 28th, and I have to increase my mileage to 13 miles, but after that I need to seriously consider letting it go...I hurt too much during and I ache to badly after.
Tomorrow, I reserved space in an early morning yoga class. I'm excited about being the student instead of the teacher for a change. I've had to cancel my classes for the last two weeks because of work schedules (even my silly part-time job is interfering with my real life) and thus, I haven't had the discipline to practice myself. I've been suffering from a serious, ongoing fatigue that I can't shake and I find it hard to do much of anything that doesn't HAVE to be done...on that note...I'm fading fast and though it is only 7:37pm I think I'll head to bed to read a bit.
Namaste'
Today, I ran 8 miles that was supposed to be 9...between my weary body, aching knees and hips, and the blasted wind (gusting to 40 mph sometimes) I felt like I was being beaten. I came in, showered, and settled on the couch with my crocheting. I put in Gone with the Wind and crocheted the whole time it was on and I'm still not even half-way! Poo!
I had promised myself a "day off" and I don't really think running should have been part of that because I am weary now, but in the past running has always brought me joy and energy...I was in agony and spent a good portion of today's run trying to convince myself that I could give up running (after the Cowtown Half-marathon, which I am obligated to do because I am coaching someone). I tried to convince myself that I could run shorter distances or just walk, but I remember the joy, the "runner's high", so to speak,...that feeling of being invincible because I could run so effortlessly for so far and so long. Some little piece of me is heartbroken at the thought of giving it up, but I had to give myself permission to do so just to keep going today. I have to continue running for the next two months, the Cowtown is February 28th, and I have to increase my mileage to 13 miles, but after that I need to seriously consider letting it go...I hurt too much during and I ache to badly after.
Tomorrow, I reserved space in an early morning yoga class. I'm excited about being the student instead of the teacher for a change. I've had to cancel my classes for the last two weeks because of work schedules (even my silly part-time job is interfering with my real life) and thus, I haven't had the discipline to practice myself. I've been suffering from a serious, ongoing fatigue that I can't shake and I find it hard to do much of anything that doesn't HAVE to be done...on that note...I'm fading fast and though it is only 7:37pm I think I'll head to bed to read a bit.
Namaste'
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