Blue Bird of Happiness?

I promise that just on the edge of the pond there is a blue bird. Whether or not he brought me any happiness is debatable. If you aren't in the mood to listen right now you should excuse yourself because I'm about to cut loose.

I have spent the last few days busting my ass getting ahead so that when my hubs arrives home tomorrow I can spend some time with him (I've seen him for just about 12 hours in the last 12 days). He is scheduled to be home for about a day and a half (that means two nights) before he heads back out. So, I submit a review which I had modeled after an review in a specific journal the prof told us to reference, but apparently it was all wrong and I mean every thing; the paper itself, my font, the font size, the margins EVERY FUCKING THING.

So first of all I have to do it over. It is only five pages, but I have to start completely over. Secondly, the whole grad school thing is just feeling like a waste of time. They ONLY address the issues that one will face if they want to go on to the PhD and live the boring and useless life of an academic. I want to teach REAL people, REAL skills and serve the greater good. I've been looking for jobs, but can't seem to find anything that will pay enough to meet my hubs' requirements. Seems a liberal arts degree doesn't qualify you for much of anything.

I've eaten two brownies, washed my dishes, scrubbed every nook of the burners in the stove, taken a hot shower, now I'm sobbing and "talking" it out because I have to let it go. If I don't finish this degree then I don't know what I'll do. I can't seem to figure it out and all I really want to do is take care of our house, our family, build a garden and raise some animals...I want that to be my job, but it doesn't pay well....at least not in money.

Well, I have a paper to write tonight. Thanks for listening. I'll never mention it again...Time to swallow my unhappy and do what I have to do.