When I feel like I might burst....

The last few days I've worked HARD and frequently I get overwhelmed and discombobulated, and when I just can't think anymore I go to the sink and get a drink of water.

Every time I see this little geranium who is just about to bust open, I remind myself that IF I do burst open it will only be to let the flower inside come out!

5 more days, 1 paper to present, 1 exam to complete, 5 more pages to write....almost there!

buried in books

Nine more days....12 more pages to write, one more paper to present, one exam to take, and then I'm going to going to take a break from my words for awhile...just a few days away from words and the computer...I need sunshine, dirt, stitching, music and then when my break is over I'm going to read. for. PLEASURE. I cannot wait for that.....nine more days. See you then!

feeling frazzled

Last count: 27 library books for 4 different projects and only 23 more days in which to finish the various projects....now ask me if I've actually started any of them.....you know the answer, right?

Actually, if you count the formulating of a kernel of an idea and researching and checking out books I'm sort of started....sort of.....

Stitching Sanity, and an almost stress-free day.

Too little time to really write a true update tonight...I'm ready for bed, but still have work to do. But I would like to report that there has been a shift in my perspective, decisions have been made, stitching has been done, all while books are getting read.

When I think my head will explode....

....I love the rhythm of crochet to calm me down. Repetitive motions are so soothing. This one is worked in multiples of threes: three dcs in every third stitch and all those 3s make me very calm.

I got the idea of this sort of thing from Lucy at the Attic24 blog (I purposely don't put in links because they lead you along until you realize that you don't know where you began. I get rather lost when I click links. Just Google "Attic24" and you will find her).

Anyway, I got this idea from her, but have sort of made it my own as I tend to do. Her crochet is always so bright and lively and fun. When I need some cheer in my life I go to her blog and peruse her crochet projects.

Right now, I'm needing the cheer...my Japhy J is having some health problems and we are spending a lot of time both mopping up and visiting/calling vets. Monday he is having a biopsy that will determine if his liver is healthy enough to withstand a major surgery, which he needs to remove the root of a tumor.

Today we had a little crisis. We spent the morning mopping up blood and washing his bedding and this afternoon was spent at the vet's office. I'm dreadfully behind on school work and have 70 more pages to read tonight. Right now you're thinking, "why in the heck are you blogging? get to work!".

I should explain that I blog while I eat dinner. It is a nice break, but alas it is over. Off to work....

Breaking Writer's Block

The scratch of pen on paper, the shoosh as your hand pushes across, the rustle of the paper when you ruffle the edge, the smell of the ink,....all better than this screen....so, tired of the screen.

I wasn't sure I would ever write another paper on paper. Ironic that we write papers that never have to be printed on paper....I guess I was just sick of the technology (no comment on my using the tech/screen to make this post).

My little corner of techno-hell

I've been home for three days now working on a paper...15 pages required and though I've gone over that I'm not quite finished saying what I need to say. This rough draft is due on Thursday....I haven't even started on the rough draft that is due Tuesday. My eyes are bugging out from staring at all this technology, but I'm not sure what I would do without it. Never thought I would say this, but the iPad is saving my life reading PDF files! I'm developing a Love/Hate thing with it.....too many hours and I've got iPad-itis. I'm going to bed with a real book.....still boring research, but at least it has real pages and smells musty like it is supposed to.....

The view from my office chair.....

We are going on 12 hours of school work today and I'm not half finished with what needs to be done....Nothing is due tomorrow, but Tuesday and Wednesday are another story. Seriously, I've been at this desk, in this chair, on the computer most of the day....started at 9am. I took some breaks, but I was here to take the pic of the cats lounging in the morning sun and I'm still here now, eating tater tots for dinner. When this post is done, I'll hit it again. To quote one of my peers at TCU....Grad School = Sad School.

Feeling a little set up!

So, today I bring you my Ragamuffin Report from Meltdown City. That is where I am living these days....

I'm in the third week of grad school and I have many complaints, but I'm just going to rant about one....The Set Up!

My advisor tells me, and I paraphrase: Masters students have it the hardest because they are in the same classes with the PhD students and are held to the same standards AND If you are just "punching a clock" doing 40 hours a week, you won't make it. Expect to put in 60+ hours a week.

Needless to say, I'm a little grumpy about this whole thing and this morning while trying to get my printer to go a little faster by cussing it out I decided to pass the time with a little math.

There are 168 hours in a week.

8 hours of sleep a night is 56 hours a week

1 hour a day to shower, dress, eat breakfast, and feed the dogs is 7

2 hours of driving (m-f) is 1o hours

1/2 hour for lunch is 3.5 hours

1 hour for making, eating and cleaning up dinner is 7 hours

1 hour for feeding the dogs, cats, and cleaning up the inevitable poop, and chores is 7 hours

1/2 hour to get ready for bed, including taking the dogs out to pee is 3.5 hours

11 hours a week in class is 11 hours

1 hour to do the grocery shopping and errands is 1 hour

2 hours to do laundry (and you know this takes WAY longer when you use a clothesline) 2 hours

168-110=58 hours left over....FIFTY EIGHT hours, so there aren't 60+ hours left over in a week. Not enough hours left over. Not enough.....

That is definitely how I'm feeling right now, LIKE THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY.

I promised myself I would post at least once a week, so it was a rant.

Sorry, No Pics

Yesterday was a long day. Orientation and TA (teacher's assistant) training and then Eat, Pray, Love with my only friend from college. It was a long day, but there isn't a single part of it I would delete if given a chance to do it over again. All good.

I got home too late (about 9:45) to talk to my hubs and I had not had dinner and I needed some yoga to help me decompress and so it was about 11 when I turned the lights out. The lights were out, but I couldn't turn off my head and I laid awake for hours. Some of the orientation was just plain scary and I was a little freaked out....okay, A LOT freaked out.

The dogs woke me at 5am for a potty break and I conked out hard after obsessing over all the things that I wanted to do this weekend before starting classes. I was zonked when the phone rang....the realtor letting me know someone wanted to show the house today at 11:30 or 12. So, there went all my plans for the day....nothing like something right smack dab in the middle of the day to fuck it up completely. Seriously. Oh, wait worse than the middle of the day interruption was the wake up call.

Finally, I get to talk to the hubs and I have another minor meltdown. I just don't do this "stuff" well. I had to hurriedly water the garden and spiff the house. Then I had to load the dogs up and head to my mom's house for a couple of hours. So, instead of doing what I had planned I laid on her guest bed and started reading my first assignment and it all worked out okay BUT I am still seriously disturbed by the whole thing. I do not like being awakened, I do not like having to find something to do so strangers can walk through my house, I do not like ditching my whole day's plans,....You get the picture.

This blog may turn into the chronicle of my slow, but sure disintegration. BLAH!

School Books/Hysteria

I went to see my advisor today and finished registering. YIKES!

I had picked two classes myself and she confirmed that those choices were wise. I then needed one more class and of all the classes being offered she recommended the one whose description makes me want to poop my pants.

I went to the bookstore and bought books too. The huge stack beside my computer is for ONE class. Yes, one class. And see that thick stack of papers under the books and on top of the folder? Yeah, that is the reading for the first class day! One class, one week; and I have two other classes.

SERIOUSLY, what have I gotten myself into?